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Verse Plays
Prometheus Re-Bound
Poems
Streetlight
Wash Me Waters of Rain
Sonnets
From Perfect Worlds
Strawberries
© Copyright 2004-2007 by Paul Lytle. All rights reserved.
Essays by Paul Lytle appear in:
 
 
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This short verse play needs a little explanation, I think. When I was at Houston Baptist University, I felt that I was constantly at war with the registrars office. They had my social security number wrong for a couple of years (despite numerous attempts on my part to fix it). Then they refused to accept my Advanced Placement credit, a test I took in high school, until my senior year. When I was a semester away from graduating, they discovered that they had messed up on my file, and that I really needed three more classes. And it wasn't just me. My wife had the same problems, and so did many of my friends. As much as I love HBU, I was not at all pleased with the registrars in general. During my last year there, I edited the literary journal for the school. I saw it as my chance for a little revenge, and I inserted this piece.
It is also a parody of "Prometheus Unbound," by Percy Bysshe Shelley, which is itself an answer to "Prometheus Bound," a much older work by Aeschylus. Knowledge of neither poem is necessary to enjoy this one, but there are a couple of laughs to be had if you have read the Shelley work.
This work was almost performed on campus at an induction ceremony for Sigma Tau Delta, an English honor society to which I hold a membership. The fact that we decided not the perform it at that time had nothing to do with its content, but merely that we did not have the time to stage it. No matter: it reached a wider audience with the literary journal, and caused some amount of amusement around the campus.
Dramatis Personæ
Prometheus
Europe
The Advisor |
Dr. Gorgon
The Registrars
The Professors |
ACT I
A classroom in the realm of the Registrars. Prometheus, alone, is chained to a chair.
Prometheus: Thrice a thousand years have I been bound
Upon this chair. I've since forgotten why
I first was here condemned and left to die
Again, again, with each semester new.
Each day the demons come to torture me
With facts and figures, boring through my skull
With all those tales that they have deemed so needed.
I push along without complaint, and as
I walked the weight upon me lessened still.
But somehow I offended them and found
One credit would not transfer, another lost
As useless, and then another changed its name.
But they will ne'er correct my transcript when
The courses changed. And so the years wore on.
I fought, I tried, but I do still remain.
[enter Advisor]
Advisor: Prometheus! The time has come at last
For you to free yourself away this place.
Prometheus: But may it be true? My suffering's end at hand?
These chains are suddenly looser, the chair less hard.
But no — they will never let me go.
Advisor: The Registrars?
Prometheus: Silent! Speak not that name,
As to invite their wrath upon me 'gain!
But soft! And no, they come here not, they heard
Not your hasty words. 'Tis good, 'tis good,
But keep your message low, to not inflame
Their burning temper toward me more, and bring
their scavengers to peck upon this form.
Advisor: They cannot stop you now, for only one
More mission must be done, a quest that
Began so long ago.
Prometheus: I failèd then.
Advisor: Today you must succeed.
Prometheus: They won't allow it.
They once forbid it thrice a thousand years
Ago. Their minds have not been changèd since.
Advisor: There is a power higher than these fiends,
But stop! Do not reply — only hear.
Deep within the halls, behind the veil
That keeps the students 'way, there is a man
With strength forgotten by the evil ones.
Many years has he there hid, and he
Alone can overcome the power of night.
If you will speak the words again, then I
May lead your cause to him, and freedom will come.
Prometheus: But I cannot. My hope is drainèd out.
Advisor: Speak the words, and hope returns again.
Prometheus: I took an AP test — I wish the credit!
Advisor: There! And it is done. The credit I
Shall seek. Be strong — tomorrow you'll be free.
Prometheus: Speak not your promises until they are
Fulfilled. Yet still I thank you for your help.
But hear! They come for me again. Be gone.
I must withstand another night before
The morn arrives. They must not see you here.
Advisor: Farewell! Until the morning comes!
Prometheus: Farewell!
[exit Advisor]
Prometheus: I hear them come, just as they've come to me
With every day — the minions of the beasts.
Oh, hear their cloven hoofs beat upon
The floors of hell. The dark Professors come!
[enter Professors]
Professor 1 We have another class for you to take.
Professor 2 Required, of course, for you to leave this chair.
Professor 1 The course will make you memorize the fourth
Division of "The Bear" by William Faulkner.
Professor 2 You must recite it while you run a five-
Minute mile.
Professor 1 Recite in song, of course.
Professor 2 The melody of "Yankee Doodle Dandy."
Prometheus: My spirit long ago was broken, now
Your words and courses have no hold on me.
I can no longer feel your slings and arrows.
So come and give you lessons, I will not
A single sentence hear. You only come
When the Registrars do force you fling
Your endless words at me again, again.
Professor 2 But not just words will we against you wield.
These heavy books will pummel you, and weigh
Upon you 'til you cry for mercy, cry
For comfort, cry for water, breath as well.
And if you call upon the Registrars,
Perhaps some rest they will give to you.
Prometheus: And will they grant my AP credit?
Professor 1 No!
But you may take that class and earn your way.
Prometheus: I won't!
Professor 1 Then harden yourself against the pain.
With whom shall we begin? Daniel Defoe?
Professor 2 No, not Defoe. He's far too dull to hurt
That much. Let us begin with something sharp.
Professor 1 Like Dickens?
Professor 2 Yes!
Professor 1 So we begin again.
Professor 1 opens the book, looks upon the page, and then closes the tome and beats Prometheus with it.
ACT II
Scene 1
A dorm room. Europe is alone.
Europe: Another season passes 'neath the hand
Of cold oppression. Little hope remains
That this may be the final one we'll see.
But rumors now are spreading 'round the school
That there may be a way he could escape.
So many years those words been spoken, but
They never come about. It's just an old
Tradition for the students coming in
To see Prometheus chainèd there and tell
Each other that he will be freed this year.
It's only that again. I watch as he
Will take the pains — I weep on his behalf.
But I will keep away from him for fear,
So that the Registrars won't notice me
And therefore turn their eyes to me as well.
I've been here just as long as he, but at
A distance, just observing. My pain is but
To hear his screams — his pain I'll never know.
[enter Advisor]
Advisor: The rumors are said in truth, sweet Europe, come
With me and we will free him yet, fear not.
Europe: You've found a way?
Advisor: The brave soul will be freed
If we succeed in helping him today.
Europe: I dare not linger on the word for fear
My speaking it will cause it to dissolve
Within my mouth. And yet I must, so that
We will be clear — my love will graduate?
Advisor: He will.
Europe: But how may it be? I can't believe!
The dark ones do forbid the credit for
His Freshman English course. Perhaps their hearts
Have here at last been opened to his pain?
Advisor: Their hearts have closed forever now, and yet
There is a way to grant the hours to him.
Together we must go and pass the lair
Of the Registrars and to the ancient cave
Of Dr. Gorgon. He alone does have
The power to override the Registrars.
Europe: I've heard a few that speak of him, but as
A jest. He does exist? And he will help?
Advisor: He lives and he may help. We'll only know
When we arrive. But we must leave at once!
The demons are away at lunch, and now
Alone may we descend across their room
And reach the veil that traps the Doctor in.
Scene 2
Behind the horrid lair of the Registrars, before the door that jails Dr. Gorgon.
Europe: The darkness overcomes me, the dust is thick.
Has not a person walked these halls this year?
Advisor: No, none have stood upon this floor since 'fore
Prometheus first arrived. But there! Before
Us stands the veil. Now go and tear it back!
Pierce the veil so we may be done with this.
[Europe opens the door]
[enter Dr. Gorgon]
Dr. Gorgon They said they'd send an Asian girl.
Advisor: Oh, hark!
Good Dr. Gorgon. We've come so far into
The heart of this darkened den to seek you out.
Dr. Gorgon And you have found me. What do you require?
Advisor: Do tell us, who has built this college here,
And planted flowers, shaped the grass and trees?
Dr. Gorgon The Dean.
Advisor: And who did build this building 'round
The campus, brought Professors and the staff?
Dr. Gorgon The Dean.
Europe: But who does hold the souls herein?
Dr. Gorgon They rule.
Europe: Tell me who they are!
Dr. Gorgon They rule.
And every time their names are said the walls
Around me shake. But some are greater still —
Forgotten, but evil's not the greatest strength.
Europe: And you are one above these?
Dr. Gorgon Only since
The power has been granted from the Dean.
Advisor: Do you know why we're here to see you today?
Dr. Gorgon Are you the janitor?
Europe: Alas, no.
We see your strength, your power o'er the dark.
You've heard the painèd cries even here,
(I hear them even now) of he, the man
Who only seeks an exit from this place.
You hear that thump — the pain of Moby Dick
Upon his brow. The shrouded evil above
Does block his quest, but you can overcome it.
Dr. Gorgon What need has he?
Europe: A credit only, friend.
A credit only for a test he took
Now three millennium ago, yet still
They do forbid the grade! But now 'tis said
The time is come for his release.
Dr. Gorgon Behold!
Advisor: The time is nigh. The Registrars return.
The veil is torn, together we may return.
Dr. Gorgon And let them feel the force of a higher Dean!
ACT III
The evil den of the Registrars, there stand the beasts and gloat as they gaze upon their realm.
Registrar 1: Those souls were good today, and easily
Devoured.
Registrar 2: Business majors, ma'am.
Registrar 1: Ah, yes.
They weren't as stringy as that English group.
Let's have them study more of Shelly — that tends
To make them soft and tender. No more Poe.
Registrar 2: I've heard some students speak of Prometheus.
Registrar 1: What of him? The knave is chainèd still, correct?
He'll never leave that classroom — I swear it so;
The test he took will not be granted sway.
We'll break him soon, and when we do he'll take
That class and so become a Freshman 'gain.
And by the time he's done with that, the class
Requirements will have changed, and he will have
Another thousand years beneath my thumb.
Registrar 2: And yet a higher power might . . .
Registrar 1: Do what?
Perhaps another might step in, but whom?
Will Dr. Gorgon now appear so long
Since he did hide himself from us? To save
Prometheus from school? I think he'll not.
I would not be surprised if he were dead
By now — he's not emerged in millennia.
Registrar 2: But look! The man does come! Do not you fear?
Registrar 1: No doubt he comes surrendering to us.
But no, I fear him not, for he arrives
To here relinquish his power, and no one now
May stand against me. Greetings Dr. Gorgon.
[enter Dr. Gorgon and Europe]
Dr. Gorgon: Your time has come.
Registrar 1: Hear this all people of
The school. Control is mine alone!
Dr. Gorgon: Not quite.
I've come to let Prometheus graduate.
The AP credit is hereby granted. You!
The two of you will come with me. It's time
Your sins were punishèd.
Registrar 1: I'll never come with you!
Dr. Gorgon: Then your shame shall here be shown 'fore all.
Professors!
[enter Professors and Prometheus]
Dr. Gorgon: Give them Freshman English, please.
[exit Professors and Registrars]
Prometheus: Europe! 'Twas you who brought Doc Gorgon here?
I never thought I'd graduate this life.
I thank you, Dr. Gorgon for all you've done.
Dr. Gorgon: 'Tis nothing. I, in fact, did need to leave
My hole. I must now see the Dean. I've not
Received a paycheck in a hundred years!
[exit Dr. Gorgon]
Advisor: So it is done, Prometheus. This stage
Of life is now complete. Be glad, my friend!
But be not still and quiet long, for life
Will move, even when you do not!
For thrice a thousand years in student loans
Are not so easily repaid, young man.
[exit Advisor]
Prometheus: 'Tis true, alas! Will never I be free?
A weight is pullèd off, but onto me
Another comes. The schooling done, but now
A life of work begins so. I must bow
Unto the treachery of evil men
Until my dying day. Will e'er their sin
Bite back upon them? Ever heaven or hell?
Will all our toil at that final bell
Be then repaid? I think it never will.
Every victory is sweet until
The battle begins again. Again we fall.
Is this the whole of life?
Europe: No, not all.
She kisses him, and the curtain falls.
The End
© Copyright 2002 by Paul Lytle. All rights reserved.
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