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Gospel
A series of podcasts I recorded called "Gospel". To subscribe to the podcast, please click here. Otherwise, there are links for each individual podcast at the head of each transcript. Click the button for the audio podcast.
contents
The Fool’s Heart
The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds, there is none who does good. The LORD looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God.
-Psalm 14:1-2
I have to admit something. I don’t understand it. I don’t. I’ve tried to think about this, and it’s just not connecting in my brain. I’m talking about people who don’t seem to care at all about God. I just don’t understand them. And I was one of them for the longest time, but I still don’t understand.
It really does seem to be most of us. Most of us go about our day-to-day lives without giving Him a thought.
Some go farther than that and just declare that God doesn’t exist. The Bible calls people who say this “fools.” The reason it does is because it is a moronic statement. You know, I haven’t even driven on most streets in my hometown, much visited most places on earth. And earth is only one tiny dot in a vast universe. And yet people who have just as little experience as I do are making declarations that there’s no God, anywhere. It’s like saying that there’s not a needle in a massive haystack when you haven’t even looked.
Such bold assumptions are foolish. You can say that you don’t know whether there is one or not. You can say that you don’t think so. You can say that you haven’t seen any evidence. But if you say there isn’t one, you’re either claiming to be omniscient, which is an attribute of God, or you’re just being a moron.
And some of these fools actually evangelize a lack of faith. They try to convert people into atheism with speeches and books and debates. Why? Does that make sense at all? Look, if the atheist is right, and he and I die, we’ll both go to the same place. That is, into the ground as worm food. What possible advantage is it to believe that? It doesn’t get me into a heaven; it’s no advantage in life. It’s like they’re doing it just so they can be proven right.
And then you have people going about their business, believing in God, but not really thinking much more about it. If you ask them about heaven, they can tell you that they are going, but if you question them about it, they’ll only vaguely say that they are good people, or that God is loving and so He’ll let them in.
All this is silliness. It’s silliness. And I say that because, if there is a God, then this is the most important question out there. If there is a God, then I don’t give a flip what YOU think will get me to heaven. I want to know what HE says about it. If there is a God, then your vague notion that you are a good person doesn’t mean squat unless God thinks so too.
If you believe there is a God, then why in the world would you not be seeking Him with your every breath? We don’t have long on this earth. We may not have a tomorrow to figure this out. Why would you go about your life with just vague notions of who He is? If you believe in God, then you better make sure you have it right with Him, because nothing else could possibly matter as much.
And if you don’t, you better make sure. You better make absolutely sure, because getting this question wrong could cost you your life. If I am right, and there is a God, then nothing else matters. If there isn’t, then nothing matters, because it will all be gone in death.
This series, called “Gospel,” is going to talk about this question. We’re going to talk about who God is and what He wants. This is the question of the age.
I hope you’ll keep listening, but I’m going to jump to the end in case you don’t, because this is just too important to put it off for another week. There is a God, and we’re not good enough. God is just and holy, and He is so perfect and good that we cannot stand before Him. The reason we can’t is because of sin. You have sinned, just like me. Just like everyone else. That lie you told the other day was one. When you stole something, that is another. When you lust after someone, or when you get jealous over something a friend bought. Your greed is an abomination to Him. Your pride is wickedness. Your selfishness is abhorrent. These are things God hates, and you cannot stand in His presence with these things in your heart.
When you deny Him, that is another. You are denying the One who created you, who gave you life. We cannot get to heaven with these sins.
But God loves us so much that He sent His Son Jesus to earth to save us. We deserve death because of our sins, but Jesus died in our place. He paid the price we should have paid. That is the love that God has for us.
Because of Jesus, we can find eternal life. If we repent of our wicked ways and believe in Jesus, we will be saved. That is His promise. We don’t have to earn it. We couldn’t earn it. God has everything; what could we give Him? Instead, we can take His gift of life by repenting and believing, or we can refuse it.
Don’t be foolish. The fool thinks he knows everything. The fool goes his own way and assumes he’s doing fine. You’re not. You need Jesus as much as I do.
The Deceitful Heart
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? “I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”
-Jeremiah 17:9-10
As I sat down to write this, I was just overwhelmed by this sadness. I had just finished a conversation with a friend about Scripture. I won’t go into details, but basically she wanted to arrange things in her home a certain way for the sake of money. I pointed out some passages that suggested that her idea wasn’t the best one, and she tried to wiggle out of it by saying, “Well, it’s up to interpretation.” I reminded her that the Word does not come from someone’s interpretation, but from the Spirit, as 2 Peter 1:20 tells us.
She couldn’t get out of it, so she merely replied, “Yeah, but I’m not going to change my life just because the Bible says something.”
And that just made me sad. You know, a lot of people reject God outright, but there are so many who claim to love God, claim to be Christians, but will not allow one of His perfect Words to influence them.
And I am right there sometimes too.
We claim to love God, but we don’t treat Him like anyone else we claim to love. We love our wives, so we spend time with her, talk to her, listen to what she has to say. We love our grandmothers, so we go to visit them, help them out when they need it. We love our kids, so we do our best to provide for them, to give them what we need. Then we say we love God, and . . . And what? Nothing. Not a thing. We don’t pray, we don’t read His Word, we don’t consider what He says, we don’t seek Him, we don’t give to His Church. We just say, “Oh, yeah, I love Him, and that’s it.”
And we actually believe it. That’s what is so sad. We believe that we can act this way and still love Him. You know what? We can’t. That is not love, to ignore someone, never speak to Him, scorn His Commandments, and ignore His Bride. That’s not love.
Jeremiah tells us that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick.” Yeah, that’s about right. We do all sorts of terrible things, and our hearts lie to us and tell us we’re okay. We lie, cheat, steal. We follow our lusts, ambitions, pride, and arrogance. And our heart tells us we’re doing just fine. Enough! Enough of the lies!
God has laid out exactly what He expects of us in the Bible. He tells us not to lie, and we do. He tells us not to put anything before Him, and we put darn near EVERYTHING before Him, including money, baseball, work, sex, and power. He tells us that He counts even undue anger as murder, and we get that angry every day. He tells us that lust is like adultery, and we lust constantly.
Your heart is telling you that these things aren’t that bad. Your heart is telling you that you’re okay. Your heart is telling you that God doesn’t really expect you to live up to those commands. Your heart is telling you that you’ll be fine with Him at the end. Well, He is telling you through this verse that your “heart is deceitful . . . and desperately sick.”
The Bible tells us that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). All of us, every one. Not one of us lives up to His holy standard. This is not something you can blow off and be okay in the end. The second part of this passage terrifies me. “I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”
You think your actions are okay? They aren’t, but take a look at this verse. God’s going to judge your heart. Those thoughts you have that you thought no one would discover – they are plain to the Lord. And He’s going to give to everyone according to what He finds there.
Your heart is telling you not to worry. Your heart is lying to you.
We have one shot at this, and only one. See, we can’t make up for the sins we’ve committed. We can’t make it all better with God. We deserve death for what we’ve thought and done. But there is one who has already paid our price, though He did not deserve it. God came to earth and lived a life as a man. Though He was without sin, He died anyway. He didn’t deserve it, but He died. Then He rose again on the third day.
He is our one shot. He is our chance for life. And you know what? His gift is a free one. See, there is nothing we can do to please God, but He loved us so much that He gave us a way back to life. If we repent of our sins and believe, we will find eternal life, not by our own efforts, which fail every time, but by His effort.
If you are relying on your own goodness to get to Heaven, I ask you to look at your heart. If you are honest with yourself, you will find it deceitful and sick. If your thoughts were presented as evidence against you, as they will be, what fate would you deserve? Turn instead to Jesus, for in Him we can have life, and only in Him. There is no way to earn this, but He’s not asking us to earn it. He already earned it for us.
If you are struggling in your Christian walk, and keep getting frustrated with the ways you fail, turn away from your heart and look to Him. Keep your eyes on Him, for it is still in Him that we have life. Those mistakes are forgiven by His marvelous Grace.
The Hard Heart
Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!
-Ephesians 4:17-20
I grew up in church, and was pretty active for a long time. I performed with the band. I was one of the most active members of the drama team. I was even an editor of the church literary journal. Well, that idea sort of fizzled, but we actually worked very hard on it for some time.
I was the guy who stops by the church office at least once a week. In a church of maybe a thousand, the entire staff knew me by name. I was that guy.
In my every day life, I would study. I carried the Bible with me to class. I would constantly be reading theology and other Christian books. I witnessed to people. I was very aware of the commandments of God, and I would follow them, well, religiously.
And I was heading straight for Hell.
No one has asked me about this yet, but I’ve been titling each episode in this series with a description of the heart. And none of the descriptions are very good. You may be confused, because the word “Gospel” means “good news,” but I’ve spent most of the time talking about what is inside of us, and it’s not pretty. I’m doing this for a reason. I’m doing this because until you realize what is inside, you’re never going to figure out the good news. Until you understand that you need a savior, you’re not going to be happy that one is available.
On the outside, I used to be pretty clean. I didn’t curse, I didn’t sleep around, I didn’t lie, I didn’t cheat, I didn’t do any of that. Outside, everyone said, I was a great guy! And I was still going to Hell.
If you talk about Heaven and Hell with most people, they’re going to tell you that they will go to Heaven because they are good people. Fantastic. Everyone thinks he’s a good person. Great. But you know what? Even if that were true (and it’s not), but even if it were true, your actions only tell half the story.
God knows our thoughts – every bit of darkness that sweeps over our hearts. And He judges it. Judgment Day isn’t only going to be about you giving money to some charity for the tax write-off, or spending an hour with your kids at night. It’s also going to be about what you thought when that good-looking woman walked by. It’s going to be about what you thought when that guy cut you off in traffic. It’s going to be about what you thought when that person at work was promoted instead of you. It’s going to be about what you thought when your wife asked you to pick up the kids. It’s going to be about your heart as well as your actions.
And it’s pretty ugly in there.
God takes this so seriously, that Jesus tells us in Matthew 5 that to even look upon a woman with lust in your heart is to commit adultery, and to even be unduly angry at someone is to commit murder. Ever done those things?
Is your heart committed to God, or is it chasing after other things? Are you ruled by your desires, or is it the other way around? Do you secretly entertain your greed, lust, ambition, selfishness, or pride? If so, it’s because your heart has become hardened against God. It has become callous, and so it seeks out worldly pleasures just to feel something. This is not the life God intends for you. You have exchanged His glory and majesty for something far less satisfying.
We don’t deserve that life. We don’t deserve to be united with God forever. We don’t deserve Heaven. Imagine, if you will, that you went to Heaven, dragging all of those impure thoughts and feelings in with you. Imagine if everyone did that. Imagine being in a place with no death, disease, or pain with the constant temptation for evil. How fast would we turn Heaven into Hell?
The Bible tells us we deserve death for what we have thought and done. We’re not “good people” who just make mistakes every once in a while. We’re evil people who can usually keep our dark thoughts inside and hidden. We’re sinners.
Right now, many of you are shaking your head, ready to dismiss all of this. You’re telling yourself that you’re doing just fine with God. And you have to ask yourself: Did God tell you that you’re okay, or was it your own hard heart?
God’s Word tells us something very different. God tells us that “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”
If your heart is telling you something else, that it is only because the truth is having trouble breaking through the calluses and hardness.
If you are beginning to understand, then the good news will seem good indeed. We cannot earn Heaven, but we don’t have to. When Jesus died on the Cross, He took our sins with Him. See, He was sinless, and so He did not deserve death. But in death He took our place there so we can live.
By His Blood, we can be carried into Heaven and live forever. God will forgive all our sins and count us as righteous. We will be changed by His Spirit so we will not be beholden to sin. If we repent and believe, we will find eternal life. But not everyone will receive this gift. The hardness of their hearts will keep them from it. They will not repent and believe.
When I was younger, I used to work so hard to follow every rule, to try to earn my way to Heaven. I know now that I can’t. In every day I have to lean on the Grace of Jesus, but that Grace does not end and does not fail. I still mess up. A lot. But my righteousness comes from Him, not myself.
The Darkened Heart
And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
-2 Corinthians 4:3-6
On work days, I am usually picking out my clothes in the dark. Maybe I’ll have a dim light on, but between the shadows and my heavy eyelids, I’m not always sure what I’m wearing. Just the other days I went into my closet to get my black shirt. It wasn’t until I was at work that I realized I was wearing blue. That’s not so bad, but there have been countless times that I went to work with socks that didn’t match. I finally wised up and started pairing off my socks after doing laundry, so I only have to grab one of the rolls in my drawer.
I’ve never worn shoes that didn’t match, but that’s only because I only have one pair of brown shoes and one pair of black shoes. If I had more, I would totally mess up on that too.
It is the nature of darkness to conceal, to disguise, and to mislead. The road that is familiar in the daytime suddenly becomes unfamiliar at night. Those keys you left on the counter last night are completely lost in the darkness of the morning. Things that seem to, well, match in the closet make you look foolish at work.
Horror films are almost always take place in a dark place, either night or abandoned house or cellar. The reason should be really obvious – there’s so much UNSEEN in the dark. If you can’t see the other side of the room, the possibilities that run through your head have no end. But once the light is on, everything becomes clear.
But darkness can also conceal those things you may not want others to see. Robberies, thefts, and murders are planned and carried out in the darkness. Sometimes, there is danger lurking in the shadows.
But criminals aren’t the only ones to take advantage of the darkness. We use it every day ourselves. Those things we own that we don’t want others to discover get hidden in a dark closet. We visit those stores we really shouldn’t be frequenting at night so no one can see us. We go to low-lit bars or park with dates where no one can see. It is in darkness that we hide things that would shame us if they were brought into the open.
And if you really think about it, you have those dark corners of your heart too. Those places you put things you would never bring into the light of day. Those secrets you will take to the grave if you have your way.
It is in that dark part of your heart that you carry that lie you’ve maintained for years, the lust you have for your neighbor’s wife, that thing that happened at work you hope your boss never discovers.
From that darkness comes a constant stream of pride, selfishness, lust, and hatred. Maybe you never let these emotions or thoughts out. Maybe you never act on them, never speak a word of them, but they are there.
What’s in there for you? I bet you know right off the bat. I bet you’ve already thought of something. I know I have. Over the years, I have put so much into that closet. When I grew up, everyone thought I was this great guy. Everyone was really impressed with the way I acted and held myself. I was really good at keeping that darkened part of my heart hidden away.
Most of that stuff will never be seen by another soul on this earth. Most of that stuff will, truly, go to the grave with you. Most of it won’t be discovered in this life.
Except by God. Except that God knows all of our secret thoughts. Except that God is going to judge us not only by our actions, but also our words, and also our thoughts.
This world will tell you that there is no God, or if there is one, then He’s just happy with everyone. It will tell you that all religions are true in their own ways. Well, there are an infinite number of wrong answers to the problem 2 + 2, but there is only one right one. In the same way, if you miss this one, you are wrong, and you are lost. If you miss the mark on this question, you’ve missed it. The god of this world wants your heart lost in darkness, and so he will tell you that you’re okay, that no one will ever find out about those secrets in your heart, that God’s not going to hold you accountable.
But there is a light in all of this darkness. There is a way, there is a truth, and there is life. There is a right answer. We cannot earn our way to heaven. There are just too many dark corners in our hearts for that. Even if we were to not sin in word or deed, still our hearts would betray us.
But God loved us so much that He came to earth in the form of a man, Jesus Christ. He lived a perfect life, facing every trial that we face, but walking through without faltering. He died on a Roman Cross, and in that death He took our sins upon Himself and paid the price for them. Those darknesses in your heart will be exposed to the light of Heaven, but they don’t have to be counted against you. If you repent and believe in Him, then your sins have been nailed to the Cross with Jesus. The price has been paid.
It is our only shot. He is the only light able to penetrate to our darkened hearts. It is only by Him we can stand. It is only by Him that we can stand, and it is only by Him we can walk. He doesn’t save us, only to leave us to our own devices as Christians, but His Blood continues to save us, and His Spirit will lead us.
When we are wallowing in darkness, even the faintest glow may seem like a great light. But once you come to realize the darkness of your own heart, you will find the only light able to reach you, expose you, and then forgive you, is Jesus.to hate going to church, but that was before I understood what Jesus had done for me. Now I find great peace there. It is a reminder to me of what He is preparing for me, and hopefully for you.
The Proud Heart
He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts; he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate; he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty.
-Luke 1:51-53
This is important. I’m going to tell you something that you may not hear anywhere else. You won’t even get this in some churches. Your pride is killing you.
Everywhere else you look, people are going to tell you to be proud. They’ll talk to you about the importance of self-esteem, that you are very valuable, that you deserve so much more, that you don’t deserve the mistreatment you are getting, that you should stand up and demand recognition for what you have done, that you deserve to be heard, that you deserve respect. Isn’t that what we’re getting from Oprah and schools and even some churches? Isn’t that exactly what they are saying?
Respect is like the new inalienable right in America. You can do whatever you want, but if you happen to be slightly disrespectful, wow, you’re going to hear about it. Everyone is clamoring to speak, as though they all have the answers, and no one is listening. Everyone thinks they deserve something more, that they should be given something more.
That’s what the world is telling you. I’m going to tell you the truth – your pride is killing you.
You go all day long looking out for yourself. You go demanding, expecting, and you get angry when you don’t GET. You start talking bad about the person who didn’t give you your due. You’ll take it to the street if you have to – protesting for your way of doing things. You hold grudges against those who slighted you, as though you haven’t done a hundred times worse to others. You’ll give the people around you a piece of your mind, but you probably won’t listen when they want to give you a piece of theirs. You complain that your wife and kids don’t understand; they just don’t pay attention enough, or they don’t give you your space, or they don’t give you enough respect. Your driving desire in life is yourself. Your driving desire is YOU.
It’s even like that when you go to church. You seek out the church that makes you the most comfortable, even if the teaching isn’t very biblical. You ignore certain commands in the Bible because, well, you like doing those things. When you hear a sermon about a certain sin, you immediately think of a hundred people committing that sin, but you never look to yourself. You watch television rather than reading your Bible. You read the sports page rather than praying. You make a big deal about giving, but you never give very much.
And to top it all off, you expect God to honor your life. You expect Him to forgive you. You expect Him to say you did just fine. You think that because you are so prideful that you think you have the best way of doing things. You think that because your heart is so full of yourself that you can’t think about anything else. The thought that you may not be acceptable to the Almighty never crosses your mind.
Satan thought the same thing, and God threw him out of heaven. Pride got him booted out, and it will do the same to you. So I say again: your pride is killing you.
Just to prove the point, I’m willing to bet most of you listening are thinking, “You tell those sinners, Paul! Preach it!” Don’t think that, because I’m talking about you. I’m talking about you. Your theology of sin is all about the other guy. It’s all about the Liberals, or the Evangelicals, or some other group. It’s all about someone else.
Let me be perfectly clear – the Bible’s teaching on sin is about you. In pride, you may try to pass it off to someone else, but that is still pride, and it’s killing you.
You haven’t lived up to the Law, and you cannot. In pride alone you have sinned enough to get kicked out of eternal life, just like Satan was.
Pride is no small sin. It’s not something that can just be brushed aside. Look at what the Bible says about pride:
O LORD, God of vengeance, O God of vengeance, shine forth! Rise up, O judge of the earth; repay to the proud what they deserve!
-Psalm 94:1-2
The LORD tears down the house of the proud but maintains the widow's boundaries.
-Proverbs 15:25
Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
-1 Peter 5:5
The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.
-Proverbs 8:13
The Lord GOD has sworn by himself, declares the LORD, the God of hosts: "I abhor the pride of Jacob and hate his strongholds, and I will deliver up the city and all that is in it."
-Amos 6:8
For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person."
-Mark 7:21-23
For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions – is not from the Father but is from the world.
-1 John 2:16
You are guilty of this sin, and a thousand more. You are not “good enough.” Your sin isn’t just going to be ignored. God isn’t just going to ignore all of this and welcome you into Heaven. He has made it clear in His Word that He hates pride, and we are overflowing with it.
We cannot make it alone to Heaven. That is undoubtedly true. But God has sent someone to bring us back. Jesus Christ, though He deserved Heaven, came to earth to live and die. He was executed on a Roman Cross, though He was the only man who has ever lived who was completely sinless. He is the only one who has ever deserved to live, yet still He died. In that death, He took our sin upon Himself to pay for our pride, lusts, hatred, ambition, and greed. At the same time, He can place His righteousness upon us. We cannot earn it, but in love He has given it. In righteousness then, we can live forever.
Do not refuse this gift. Repent of your pride and other sins and believe in Him. Do not let that old sin of pride tell you that you’ll make it on your own. Don’t let you pride tell you that God will accept you the way you are. If you do, all you’ll be left with is your pride when it comes to the time of Judgment, and we already know that God hates it.
The Wicked Heart
The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the LORD was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart.
-Genesis 6:5-6
I have spent several weeks now trying to spread some good news. It may not seem like that’s what I’ve been doing, because what I’ve said has been what most people would consider negative. But a lot of times, if you don’t know the bad news, the good doesn’t seem all that important. A patient is not going to rejoice at a cure unless he already knows he has the disease. A criminal is not going to rejoice that his case was dismissed if he doesn’t know he was charged with anything.
So I’m done being rough on you for a while. Maybe not long, but for a little while. Today I want to talk about the evil heart, but that evil heart is my own.
I was one of those “well-behaved” kids. My teachers loved me because I had good grades and never got into trouble. I was a Boy Scout, a third baseman with a good eye at the plate. I was successful in most things I tried. Academically, I was an A student (with a rare exception), but I was big and strong, so I was a good choice in physical games too. I was raised to be courteous and respectful. I was a good kid.
By my actions, it really seemed like I had it all together. And in a worldly way, I did. I was on the road to becoming successful and well respected.
I bring all of this up because I know what lurks in the heart of a good kid. I was proud, quick to anger, and full of lust. I really thought I deserved to be rich and famous, like it was my right. I never thought much about God, because why would I? I didn’t need Him.
I bought into the lie. I bought into the lie that it’s what I do that makes me a good person. If I blow up in anger every once in a while, well, I made up for it in other ways. If I sought my own ends rather than the good of others, well, doesn’t everyone? And, hey, I was better than most!
Eventually, the darkness of my heart began to come in out in my behavior. I would get impatient more often. I got upset when I wasn’t the focus of attention. I thought I deserved that. It comes out pretty innocently, but it’s not innocent at all. When I had a problem, I expected my friends to drop everything to help. When with a group, I expected everyone to talk about what I wanted to talk about.
My outward life became very closed off and dark. There was only room for me in there, so with others weren’t meeting the needs that I had, I would get mad.
I wasn’t loving anyone at all, but I expected them to love me. I wasn’t loving God, but expected Him to honor me.
This is narcissism on the level of dictators. I wouldn’t have admitted that then, but it is. It is the worst criminals in history that seek their own needs over anyone else, and that’s where I was – I just wasn’t acting on those thoughts like the worst criminals do. And you know what, this sort of selfishness is rampant in our culture. Our laws constrain most of us, but most of us have that sort of selfish and evil heart.
I can’t tell you exactly why it happened when it did, but God opened my heart to a little of His light. I was shocked and disgusted with the evil in there. For so long I had pushed stuff aside, telling myself that my thoughts don’t matter, or that it’s not a big deal. But at once I became aware of the lust, pride, selfishness, greed, and anger in my heart.
I couldn’t put it aside anymore. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I felt so ill that I wanted to vomit. I spent the next several days crying whenever I thought of what I had made of my life.
How do you fix that? How do you make up for that? See, I was always judging my life by my actions. You know, more good than bad. But I realized that even my good deeds were often done out of selfish motives. I realized that my actions weren’t as good as I thought, because they were done with an evil heart. The good was done with evil motives, and the evil was more of a reflection of who I truly was. It was a startling realization, and it destroyed me.
The reason I’ve done this series is because I want you to see that too. It’s counterintuitive, but the more we concentrate on our own hearts, the less we realize how dirty it is in there. I want you to look at what God says about us and realize that your heart isn’t as clean as it should be. Most of the time, we’re okay with ourselves, so we expect God to be okay with us too. Except that God sees clearly all that stuff that we hide away. God is going to judge us not only by our actions, but by our words and thoughts. How is any of us going to pass that particular test?
My pride was broken, but that still left the question – what do I do with that? You can try to bend your will to fix the problems in your life, but they’ll only bring up new ones. You know, this all happened five years ago, and I still struggle with pride and anger. It’s still plaguing me. So I can try my best to be good, and I’m still going to be spouting some sort of garbage.
The truth is, you can’t do anything with it. You can’t fix it. You can’t make it up to God. You can’t repair the damage you have done. And you can’t cover it up with good deeds, because even those get tainted by your evil heart. We are selfish at heart. We are lustful at heart. We are proud at heart. We are sinners at heart. At heart, we seek ourselves rather than God. We’re guilty. We’re guilty before a Holy and just God and deserving of punishment.
Someone must to pay for my sins. God is a just God, and He doesn’t let such crimes go unpunished. A good judge doesn’t let criminals go. If he did, he wouldn’t be a good judge. It’s the same thing. God is just, and He wouldn’t be just if He let sin go unpunished. And frankly, the punishment was more than I can pay in this lifetime, because sin can only be atoned for by the shedding of blood.
Trying harder wasn’t going to save me. I wasn’t going to be able to make up for my sins. It wasn’t going to be enough to keep pushing it back into the corner of my heart. Good deeds wasn’t going to do it. It wasn’t anything I did at all. It was Jesus.
Someone has to pay for those sins. I could have spent eternity in eternal torment to pay for them. But I won’t. I don’t have to, because Jesus did.
Jesus came to earth in the form of a man, lived a sinless life, and died on a Roman Cross. He had no sin of His own to pay for in the shedding of His Blood, so He paid for mine, and not just mine. Because He is God and of infinite power and value, He has the ability to pay for an infinite number of sins, the sins of all those who repent and put their trust in Him. On the third day He rose again, insuring that I will rise again into eternal life also.
The thing that saved me was Grace. It’s the thing that saves me today, and will continue to save me. I couldn’t do anything with the evil inside me, but He took it from me. In exchange, He gave me His righteousness. In repentance and belief in Jesus we can be saved.
But the Spirit had to knock down that pride of mine before He could really start rebuilding, because before that I could barely acknowledge that I needed a savior at all.
I think that’s where most people are. They don’t turn to Jesus because they don’t realize they need a Savior. Every other major religion in the world tells you to try harder and do better, and that’s sort of the way our brains are wired. If something is wrong, then we can fix it! What God says is this – “You can’t fix it, but I can.” Jesus can fix it. That’s what He was doing on that Cross, and if it were just a simple matter of us trying harder, then His death was in vain.
The best period in my life was that time when He revealed to me that I wasn’t making it on my own. Now I stand on Grace. Where do you stand?
The Pure Heart
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
-Hebrews 4:12-16
When I was very young, I was in a certain science class. This was probably fourth grade. We had a test scheduled on this particular day, but for whatever reason the teacher decided to postpone the test until the next day. Those of us who were not prepared were happy. But there were many who were ready for the test and wanted to take it. They didn’t want to spend another night studying when they were ready to go. So the teacher gave us a choice. Take it today, or take it tomorrow.
A portion of the class took it right away, and it was a HARD test. I was not part of that group. I spent the evening studying and came back the next day for the test. The only thing was, the teacher had changed the test. And the second test was really, really easy.
I probably would not even remember this day except that one of my friends, whose name is Dan, stood up in class and said that it wasn’t fair. And he argued the point until he was sent to the principal’s office.
It wasn’t fair. We all knew it wasn’t fair. And frankly, we probably would have all talked about how unfair it was in whispers after class except that Dan stood up, and suddenly, we didn’t have an excuse anymore. If you would have asked me why I didn’t talk to the teacher about it, I could have said a number of things before he stood up. I would have said, “Oh, you don’t ask about this stuff.” Or, “You don’t know what it was like in there – no one said a word!” But then he stood up. I’m not saying he went about it the right way, but one thing it did do was to tear away all of the false excuses and leave the truth – I was scared to say anything.
That’s not my biggest regret in life. Not even close. No, my biggest regrets are when I caused people to hurt because of selfishness. When pride, lust, anger, and hatred came out in my words or actions and brought about harm that I can never repay. I regret thinking badly about people. I regret being so absorbed in my own stuff to help. I regret the lies, the insults, the screaming, the fighting. I regret those moments when I am so angry that all I can think about doing is hurt someone. I regret doing all of these things with God.
These are sins. It’s hard for us to understand how serious they are, because they are part of our everyday lives. Every day we get angry at someone. Every day we lust after someone. Every day we seek our own selfish desires. When God tells us to love Him “with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength,” we sort of shrug and go about our way. It’s a standard we’ve never seen met, and so we push it aside as something that cannot be done and shouldn’t be attempted. We look around, make sure no one else is suddenly doing something holy and cool, and rest in the assurance that we’re no worse than the next guy.
But God looks at things a little bit differently. His holy standard is perfection, and anything less than that is a capital crime. He looks into our hearts and judges the pride, ambition, lust, and greed within. He sees the way we react in anger at people, people He intended us to love. He made us to worship Him, and instead we spend all our time and money on entertainment.
And our excuse may go something like this. “God, you really don’t know what it’s like down here! It’s just unreasonable to expect that much from us. We can’t be perfect! This world just isn’t set up like that.”
I’ll tell you something – that is exactly what my response would be. There isn’t a day that goes by that I react rightly to everything that happens. There isn’t a day I’m not plagued with sin. I try, but I’m just not good enough to make it. I’d be the first guy looking around the class, making sure no one is standing up, and then settling into that excuse that this is just the way things go.
Except that God does know. God does understand. And if anyone had any doubts, He proved it by becoming a man and living a life with all of the temptations and trials as anyone else. Jesus lived a perfect life, down to even the intentions of His pure heart.
Here’s the cool thing. He didn’t do it to prove we aren’t good enough. We’re not good enough, but He didn’t need to prove it that way. History has given plenty of proof of that. No, He did it to provide for us a way. He didn’t do it to say, “I told you so!” but to take away all of those sins from us.
The wages of sin is death, and no sin can be forgiven without the shedding of blood. So when Jesus died on that Cross, dying the death He did not deserve, His Blood was not paying the price of His own sin, because He had none, but for ours. He took our sin upon that Cross and paid that price. Because of His perfect life, because of His pure heart, He was able to lay down His life for us, even though we did not deserve it.
He also gives us His righteousness, that same pure heart, so we can stand before the Father on the Day of Judgment and be accepted into life as though we hadn’t a blemish on us.
And He doesn’t expect anything from us in return, because this was the ultimate act of love and mercy. Jesus died for us.
Repent from your sins. Confess them and turn away from them. Believe in Jesus and His sacrifice. And turn in confidence to Him. He knows what you’ve been through, because He was there too. But more than that, He can forgive you.
Which you need, because there has only been one pure heart on this earth, and it isn’t yours.
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Paul Lytle
